Mirroring Love Activities

Do you like your reflection in the mirror?

It is normal to pick apart your reflection, finding flaws or places for improvement. This is all social conditioning, and it is time for you to peel back those layers to find the truly beautiful person that is standing in that mirror.

What is social conditioning in this respect? Think of all the times advertising, movies, t v shows, your mother/father, your sister/brother, your friend, etc, have stood infant of the mirror and said "ugh, if only i could change/lose/get rid of ______". Not a lot of body/mind positivity there... It is social conditioning when the social human experience shapes the way we view and engage with the world. We then walk away from these moments, having adored the person speaking, and think "if they felt gross about X then gosh, what do they think about this X with my body?!" Because truth be told, we adore the other person WITH their "flaws" or "faults", and frankly, they adore you with all of yours.

So how can we shift our disgust or disrespect of self when looking in the mirror. A few ways:

1- Write something on the mirror (with erasable pen, please!) that is a solid affirmation that is appreciated/felt already. "I am a good person" "I have a good heart" "I am funny" "I am safe"... Say it aloud when you see yourself in the mirror. Focus your affirmations on your inherent truths... "I am creative" or "I am kind" or "I am clever".

2- Once you feel like you are comfortable with the affirmations then you can move into bigger statements on the mirror... For example, write something that you have accomplished and you are proud of, or something that you are doing really well at this time "I am walking every day and that's fantastic!" or "I have finished that online class and thats brilliant" or "I feed my family yummy food and that is incredible"or "I provide for this household and that is really amazing" - cherish your actions as well as your inherent truths.

With the first two, we find comfort with our energetic body and our physical/mental outcomes performed by our bodies. Next we go to the physical body itself...

3- Write something about your body that you love, like, or even tolerate. This time, if you are able, say them aloud. "I have beautiful eyes" " I have a lovely smile" "I have good shoulders" "my legs work". There is something about you that is absolutely phenomenal. Celebrate what you love about yourself with excitement. Every time you go in front of that mirror, find it and say YEAAAAAA BABY to yourself!

With time, as you increase your body-positive words and thoughts, you will feel it a bit more and more.

4- When you are ready for the next step, do a little jiggle and jive in front of that mirror. Strike a pose. Put on some lipstick and blow kisses to yourself. Show yourself how truly funky, chic, and sassy you can be! Feel that giggle bubble up from inside and allow yourself to laugh - you truly are a blast!

After you get comfortable with engaging with your reflection - its time to go to the biggest hurdle. Nudity.

5- After a shower, or before, stand in front of the mirror and look at yourself. Nudity is not everyone's comfort level (especially in the US). This is when we can be the harshest on ourselves. But go back to level one - what is something your physical body in its purest form accomplishes that is beautiful? Maybe you are healthy and are proud of your organs. Perhaps you love your strong hips that flow with music. Maybe you have a strong waistline or chest or fantastic side boob. Maybe you like the small of your back. Find ONE thing that you can compliment.

Truth be told, we all struggle with this last phase. But if you can look at your pure form and say "wow, i am gorgeous" then you have reached the zenith. Because the more we can find love for ourselves, we heal ourselves, our children and friends, and we shine our light brighter and more effortlessly.

This may make you laugh and say 'no way". But, I know this works. When I was in high school I was in a deep depression and didn't think I would ever be good enough.... I looked at myself and said "i love you" feeling it about 25%. But I did it, because I knew if I didn't love myself, no one would (thank you RuPaul for normalizing this!). I did it for a couple weeks, finding that around week 3 I really started to say the words and mean it. Then I would start to smile, then wink, then do a shooter finger saying it, and by the end of a month and half or so, I was at 100%.

When I look in the mirror and hear the negative voices start up, I laugh and tell them "whatever, you bore me, I am amazing." And even when I struggle seeing myself nude, I will react with my own counter-conditioning - which is make a joke. If I start to feel insecure about a wobbly bit, cellulite, or small boobs, I will shimmy naked and be like "how about dem apples, bitches?!" Make a joke, because the voices are a joke. You are no t the joke... the voices are. So tell them they ain't worth your time and you will fart on them. That is gross AND funny.

So go for it. Why not? What do you have to lose? You might enjoy it.... you won't know until you try :) Go fall in love with yourself.

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