What are you afraid of? Are you afraid of failure? Of success? Looking for love and not finding it? Or are you afraid of the dark? Heights?
[this is a post about emotional fear, not physical danger - if you or someone you know
is in an abusive or dangerous situation/home life, consider calling professional help].
Today, I want to consider how to shift your perspective of fear for the better.
Fear used to physically and mentally hold me back from living my life. Anxiety would creep in, and soon the chemicals in my body changed my breathing triggering my flight or fight response and I would quickly retreat to my "safe space" and become exhausted as my body processed everything. Through my spiritual path, I have had the opportunities to heal deep seated blocks, past life traumas or connections, and soul loss* (see more below). With each healing, I have found myself a little brighter, stronger, and more confident.
As time passes, I find fear to be worth investigating. Because when we separate the specific fear from the giant smoke cloud that it comes with - then we can really figure out what is upsetting us. What scares us initially is the emotional response to the fear, and then getting carried away with a visual/imagined narrative of "what will happen when...". So when we remove the emotions, we just have the nugget of info. And that nugget of info is golden. Here is why:
That nugget of info, that crux of fear, tells you exactly what needs to be healed. This is the block holding you back. This is the doubt that rings in your mind. And just by facing it head on and saying "I see you for what you are", you remove so much of the power it had over you.
Here's what will happen:
1- You will be able to understand why you are reacting with fear in the future. So even if you do nothing with this info but just understand where it came from, then you can say to yourself "oh yes, that's why this is upsetting me, okay, I can breathe because I know this is does not truly affect this situation/is in my mind/is going to pass."
2- If you do have deep seated reactions to the fear, you can feel it manifest in your body and you cannot breathe through it with the awareness from #1, then consider going to see a therapist or Shaman. Through the chosen work (whether talk therapy or energy healing), you should find the fear no longer holds power over you in the way it once did. You should walk away with new perspective and confidence.
So fear is not scary, not really. Fear is a resource to show us the ways in which we can find love, forgiveness, and new joy for ourselves.
The next time you get scared, consider these steps:
- Ask yourself "Am I physically safe?" (If not, such as - lightening over you in an open field - then get to safety). If yes, then continue with the following...
-Breathe to regulate your heart beats and calm your nervous system
-Turn on the light in your mind - <click> now the scary thing is in a space lit up like a Christmas tree... 'not so scary now, silly looking alien in the attic covered in disco lights!'
-Unpack: what's really scaring you? Is it the thing in front of you, or what it represents? Is it reminiscent of something from your past, or something you don't want for your future? Why do you feel this way about these thoughts? Are you scared because you might be alone, or because you don't like who you are with?
-Role play - when you are unpacking, it does help to visualize potentialities to better
understand how these considerations makes your body feel. If you consider an aspect of
it that makes your body tighten, then you found the answer. If you consider an aspect
that doesn't bother you at all, then you can dismiss that idea and keep unpacking.
-Repack: Now that you have a better understanding of what is bothering you (even if you only shed a few layers, but didn't get to the crux of the issue) you can repack it without so much drama and fan fare. "This really bothered me, but now I know it has no relationship to my family life, so I can just put it in a "work box" in my mind attic and come back to it later when I have some time to think"
-Heal: when you have unpacked all the way, and you face the crux of your fear, how do you want to process:
-you can love it. "Thank you for showing me how strong I am, and now I wish to turn you into discernment to help me be a confident more focused version of myself"
-you can destroy it. "You will not hold me back any longer!!" and after you beat it up, you might find a little bit of light, or a version of yourself as a child who might need to be held while you process your emotions with tears or laughter (everyone is different). This is a very integral part of healing - so be sure to sit in the glow, the love and the joy of patching that pain.
-you can call in your guides, or a healer, to help. This will look different for everyone, but I highly recommend using a healer who has good ethics and integrity and resonates with your heart as someone you can trust. If they are boasting and claiming they can heal you - then walk away. A true healer knows they do not own the work, but create space and are the channel for the divine energy/spirit guides/light to come in and do the work with you.
I do hope this helps you on your path. It has helped me tremendously. It is not always easy, but believe me, it is worth it.
When you can face your fears, you start to love yourself. When you heal your fears, you start to be your true self. And when you embrace fear as a teacher, you are limitless.
Normalizing the Spiritual:
*What the Eff is soul loss?!
Soul loss can occur for a few reasons, but one of the major ones we see in this human existence is giving away your power (or having your power stolen). A light example could be not standing up for yourself and constantly doing what someone else wants (who does not resonate with your heart and joy)... a heavy example could be being attacked. Soul repair with a Shaman involves healing the trauma in your soul and emotional bodies, so that the part of you that was ripped off can be reattached. Consider it like, a super intense and deep therapeutic experience - but absolutely worth it and you should feel relief after its all processed.
Does the idea of soul loss scare you? Sure, it sounds terrifying! But it doesn't have to be. You are able to live a life with soul loss - many of us do. It just means that you might have a "thing" that holds you back, that scares you, that holds power over you in a way. If you have soul loss, a part of you will feel like it's missing or torn. Then once you unpack the "thing" and find a good healer to help you bring that aspect of self back to you - you should begin to live your life in a new light.
For example, after my assault, I had soul loss over my sacral chakra (seat of feminine power, the uterus). I didn't know it until I was faced with my fear of 'power'. I unpacked and asked myself the question of "why don't I feel comfortable with the idea of power, or the idea of having domain over my own life?" Through a shamanic energy session with Ixchel (Mayan Divine Feminine, Jaguar Goddess, associated with Moon and Earth energies) and Rainbow Jaguar medicine, I was able to heal the trespasses, and reclaim my sense of self and power.
Again. When you can embrace fear as teacher, especially if you have a great Shaman to help you on your path, you can be limitless.